Gakusei Travels

次回まで、日本！

The summer is over. I really can’t believe it. It seems like the time I was in Japan went by fast. It felt like April and May dragged on. The next thing I knew it was June, and once July hit it was like okay, time for you to go home. Although it was bittersweet leaving and saying goodbye to my friends, I’ve learned a lot during this experience and I’m glad my mom pushed me to do it (she will never let me live it down that it was thanks to her I went to Japan lol)

I’ve been home for about a week now. I feel like it’s too early to say whether or not I miss Japan or how have I been adjusting back to the U.S. because I haven’t really gone anywhere yet. I can’t really say if there’s been any reverse culture shock, but I’m sure when I finally go back to work, I’ll start noticing some things. Right now, the jet lag has been the worst and my internal clock is all messed up. I’m sleeping all day and then I’m up all night. I’m trying my best to stay up and drink coffee to limit how long my naps are, but it’s been rough. I also don’t have any money lol so I’m not going anywhere anyway. My friends want to meet up but I’m like unless you’re paying I’m staying right here in my bedroom. I’m going to eventually start being productive again. I want to start learning French and of course keep up with my Japanese by doing some of the workbooks I bought. I’m a busy body and staying still for too long will eventually drive me crazy.

Since I’ve been home, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting on my time in Japan. I’m going to try not to make it my entire personality but it’s definitely gonna come up at least for the next three months in every conversation. Anyway, I’ve been thinking and it’s almost funny to me how I did a complete 180 from several years ago, and where I thought I would be now is not where I am. In a good way of course.

Just a brief background my parents divorced when I was 16 and it really affected my mental health. I honestly didn’t even think I was going to go to college. Then COVID hit my senior year of high school and it was just like one bad thing after the other. At that time I really used writing to cope. I love writing and don’t get me wrong, I still would love to publish a book one day. If I get an opportunity to maybe work on the side as a screenwriter I think I would still take it. But once I did my internship in California in summer of 2023 amidst the writer’s and actor’s strike it was kind of eye opening to that industry. Writers are not well respected even though they are literally the backbone of the industry. They did not get paid what they deserved and the work was not as consistent as I thought. Some writers would go months without work, so many often had to pick up a second side job. Still, at that point, I thought I still wanted to do that career. I figured if I went to graduate school and worked hard to make a name for myself, then I could become the next Shonda Rhimes. I was ready to graduate in December 2023 and try to figure out how to get back to Los Angeles.

Then this opportunity to study abroad came up. As I said I was going to graduate, but when I told my Japanese professor that, she got really upset. She wanted me to study abroad and she was willing to do whatever for me to go. I think she actually lowkey tricked me. She told me that I could study abroad in April then be done and graduate in August instead. After I got accepted into the program she came back and told me that wasn’t the case and that if I wanted to go to Tsuda then I’d need to major in Japanese and do a senior project when I got back in the fall. I had already been accepted at that point and the paperwork just to get approved was so annoying that it would’ve been a waste to back out. And again, my mom was on me about going.

It was a struggle at first. It really didn’t seem feasible financially and though I applied to every scholarship possible, I only got one. Talking with the financial aid office, working part time, and with the help of friends and family, I somehow made it.

I learned a lot about myself honestly in the four months I was abroad. In my halfway point blog post I said I’d learned 6 things: plum is gross, ask for help, I know more Japanese than I realize, it’s okay to miss home, I’m more capable than I realize, and stepping outside of your comfort zone. I think those things still hold true, but I think I can expand upon it and say in the last two months I learned even more.

1. This one is weird but hear me out: follow your interests and don’t be ashamed for liking what you like. Imma be honest, the original reason why I started learning Japanese was because I liked anime. I thought it would be funny if I could learn Japanese to watch my shows without subtitles. Now look where it got me lol. Japanese major. Studied abroad. Interest in global and international studies/relations. I’ve always enjoyed learning foreign languages. I took Spanish from middle school through high school. I wanted to continue it in college but it just didn’t work out. I’ve been made fun of and called weird for my interests, and sometimes, people don’t understand it. I think now with the increased popularity of anime, it’s not so bad anymore. But all because of this little hobby I enjoyed, it turned it a catalyst for several milestones and opportunities for me. There’s nothing wrong with having your special interests. Sometimes they may lead to something more for you as long as you have the right guidance to help cultivate new skills.

2. Fear and self doubt are your biggest enemies. I get in my head sooo much and I’m hard on myself more than I should be. Any time I come across a good opportunity, such as my California internship and even studying abroad, I try to talk myself out of going and find every reason why I shouldn’t go. But if I had listened to that self doubt then I would’ve missed out on so many opportunities that have opened the doors for more opportunities. Honestly, I think I’m invincible (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) After lugging a 21 kilogram suitcase, a carry on and a backpack by myself through 4 different trains in Tokyo, I’m capable of anything lol. And I no longer fear traveling by myself, cause I’m going to meet someone on my adventure (such as Sienna, Aicha, Sam, the sorority sister I met in California who quite literally invited me to a family BBQ) who becomes my temporary family, and I know I always have the support of my family back at home base.

3. Probably the most important one but live your life to the fullest. It’s ok to try out different paths and see which ones work and don’t work. At the end of the day, experience is experience and still looks good on a resume. Plus, skills are transferable. Even though I’m no longer interested in the industry I did my summer internship in, the fact that I did it and the things I learned how to do still makes me marketable to jobs I want to try to apply to. Even though I started off in creative writing, the accolades I’ve achieved and the skills I learned in my classes are transferable. My mom always told me to not live your life with regrets saying “I wish I woulda, coulda, shoulda.” Life is too short to be overthinking things (even though I do it a lot), and sometimes you got to take the risk just for the experience, because you don’t know what doors it’ll open up later on.

My next steps are graduate school next fall and I may potentially have an internship lined up in the spring if things all go well (fingers crossed). Again, like I always do, I overthink and question this opportunity but everyone says to go for it, so I’m going for it. And if I don’t get it, I’m still going to school either way somewhere, whether that be Indiana, Japan, or some place else in the world.

I’m still in my early 20s. I have my entire life to work a full time job, so I’m striving to build up as many experiences as I can so I can look back with no regrets. And, so I can be a role model for my younger cousins who look up to me. It hasn’t been easy. There’s been a lot of tears of frustration and breakdowns that most people don’t see. But in the end of the day, I know wherever this next phase of life takes me after Japan it will work out like it always does.