Gakusei Travels

二月間後で

We’re officially in June!

I’ve been in Japan for two months now and I have two months left, so I thought I’d give a little update about class, friends, and my journey so far.

Classes for starters are hard. This past week has honestly been a little rough, because everyday I’m studying or taking notes on something, and everyday I’m looking at Kanji. Kanji, for those who may not know, are the Chinese characters used to write Japanese. There’s quite literally thousands of them, and every Friday during my Kanji class, we do a check test on the unit we were supposed to review. Some are easier than others, but we do a reading test and a writing test. This past Friday’s test kind of made me mad, because my teacher included vocabulary words not on my list. So I didn’t know it of course, and got the answer wrong. I still got a 9/10 on reading and 8/10 on writing, but I usually do extremely well on writing. I know I’m being hard on myself, but it’s frustrating. And what really makes me mad, is when I was at my circle, my club mates were looking at my textbook and one friend goes, “yeah, most Japanese don’t use these kanji. We don’t really know most of them either.”

…

THEN WHY DO I NEED TO LEARN IT??!!!

The only other class that is particularly difficult is my polite speaking class. Keigo is just hard in general, and you don’t use it while talking to your friend. Think of it like talking to your friends with a customer service voice. So it’s honestly hard to practice it, since it’s only used in certain situations that I don’t often find myself in. I”m just trying to take my notes and do well enough on the final.

Hands down though, my favorite class is my Japanese studies class. I think it must be some sort of fate that I’ve met this awesome teacher. She wasn’t at Tsuda last summer when I was in California and next year she’s taking a new job at Waseda University while working part time at Sophia University. This was really my only chance to meet her and she’s really challenged me to think outside of the box and question things more. I really want to go to graduate school after undergrad, but I didn’t know for what. I thought I wanted to do English like my undergrad, but I think I was actually limiting myself. So, I’m going to pursue a masters in Global/International studies. My professor wants me to apply to Sophia University here in Tokyo. She actually took me to the other campus and gave me a tour, and I really love it. She was straightforward and honest with me that unless a master’s is paid for, it’s not worth going. In her words, “if they don’t offer to pay for it, that means they don’t find your research worthy enough.” So she’s going to give me guidance and help me apply for the program next year. I will still apply to a school back home as a backup.

Ok, I’ve talked enough about classes. Now friends lol.

I think I definitely hang out the most with my friends from France, Sam, and my sorority sister, Sienna. I don’t have a problem with the other girls. We sometimes go out together and plan things as a group, but on a daily basis those are who I see most often. I’m glad to have built those relationships with them, and I hope even after this trip we keep in touch. I already told Aicha that I’m coming to Paris and need her to be my translator lol.

I also have my Circle/Club of the Wotagei Circle. Everyone is really nice and so cool, because they’re so talented. The president and vice-president especially, since they’ve been doing Wotagei for a few years now. I just like watching them, because there’s no way I’ll be as good as them lol. I’m also pretty close with the girls. My Japanese is not the greatest, and I’m really trying my best, but they still make an effort to include me. One practice we all exchanged some snacks. I gave them some American chocolate and I got to try some popular Japanese sweets! Actually, in less than two weeks, we have a performance coming up at the Kodaira Festival. I’ll be sure to get a video of the show!

Recently, some of my classmates from America came to Japan. My professor is doing a short two-three week study abroad program to various parts of Japan, so they came early to sightsee. I got to see my friends in Harajuku, and in a couple weeks, my sensei will be coming to Tsuda. We’ve made plans to get lunch when she visits. I just hope she doesn’t ask me how much my Japanese has improved T_T

Now, over the last couple months, I’ve done a lot of self reflection and learning. I’ve learned a lot about myself in this seemingly short time period, probably more so than when I went to California. I don’t regret my summer in Cali. I actually think it was very helpful to my growth, because it made me start questioning my future more. My major is creative writing and Japanese, and I was really insistent on doing screenwriting. However, my internship in California was right in the middle of the actor and writer’s strike. I got to see a lot of the unspoken issues of that industry first hand which had me questioning how much I truly wanted to work in it. While the passion for writing and storytelling is still there, and it may be something I do eventually, I really had to stop and re-evaluate. California was just the first step, and Japan really pushed me that final nudge to truly think about who I am and what I want to be.

I think as of right now, 2 months in, I have 6 take aways.

1. I do not like plum. I tried this “popular” KitKat flavor that was plum wine. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something about it I just didn’t like. It wasn’t until I tried something else with plum that I realized “yeah no. This isn’t for me.” I don’t like the sour aftertaste.
   
2. For the love of god just ask for help. I am a hyper-independent woman who does not like to ask for help. This stubbornness of mine made honestly the first few weeks more difficult. I think part of the problem was I was scared to speak Japanese when I didn’t know how to say something. But honestly, if I just try to Google translate it or use other synonyms I know, I could figure it out. And one of my club members really helped me a lot and told me that most students had to take an English test to get into university. If I use basic English, many will understand. So that made me feel a little bit better. Over the course of these two months, I’ve gotten more confident when asking for help. I now have no problem with going to the train station information desk and asking for directions to the correct train line. It saves the headache and prevents a breakdown just by asking for help.
   
3. In reality, I know more Japanese than I realize. I’m not fluent by any means. I get confused by most of the kanji I see on signs. I have trouble following along with conversations sometimes. I’m good for nervously laughing when someone asks me a question I don’t understand. At the same time, I do manage pretty well for most day to day interactions. I can order at a restaurant. I know how to check out at the grocery store. With friends, I can have basic and standard conversations, and at least get my point across when i’m trying to tell a story. I can and do read manga in Japanese, and generally understand it. I went and saw a movie, and from context clues, I could follow along. I do make mistakes, which is to be expected, but I’m not where I was when I first started Japanese. I think I’d be considered N3 on the JLPT scale, which is about half way. I tend to do pretty well at following along. I sometimes have trouble responding, though I know what was said, but it’ll get better with more time.
   
4. It’s ok to miss home. I miss my mom, brother, stepdad, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, my best friend (lol) every day. I call my mom daily, and I bug my brother with random texts and pictures from time to time. I’m a vey family oriented person, and I’ve always been close with my family. Although it was hard when I went to California, the time zone change wasn’t as bad. It was 3 hours as compared to 13. And halfway though the summer, I flew home for about half a week at the end of June, so I saw everyone then. This time, I’m further away, so I feel like I’m alone in a sense? I know I’m not, but there is the realization that if I have an emergency, my parents can’t get to me as timely on the other side of the world as compared to the other side of the country. I don’t think I realized how much I truly missed them when the other day, I made jambalaya. I just broke down crying, because the jambalaya smelled exactly how my mom makes it, and the scent just triggered a reaction. Though I’m sometimes home sick, I never really cried about it. I’ve kinda bottled those emotions up and focused on having fun, but I realize it is okay to miss home. Especially knowing that I’m missing certain gatherings and cookouts, it’s ok to wish you were there. My family misses me as much as I miss them.
   
5. I’m more capable than I realize. I think I downplay myself a lot. I’ve been told I tend to sell myself short and really underestimate the full extent of what I truly can and have accomplished. At only 22, I’ve accomplished quite a bit and done a lot more than some of my peers. I’ve won several scholarships and awards through the School of Liberal Arts. I went and lived in the middle of Los Angeles, California on my own while doing an internship. I’ve travelled internationally to live abroad for a summer when prior to this trip I didn’t even have a passport nor had anyone in my family ever left the country. I’m the first to do a lot of things, and I guess I try to remain somewhat humble about it? I don’t really like to brag, but in turn I kind of downplay my accomplishments as if it’s not a big deal. I don’t really know why I do it.
   
   From my professor here to my own mother, many people say I’m going to do great things and I have the capability to go far. Especially in academia. It’s not that I don’t believe them, I don’t really know what that entails for the future or what I envision for myself. Now, I don’t say all this truly to brag or rub it in all that I’ve done. Rather, I really just wanted to show that it’s okay not to know what to do with your life, but don’t pigeon hold yourself and insist on one path that seems the easiest or most familiar. I would’ve never imagined pursuing a master’s degree in Global Studies. I was insistent on doing it in English because that’s what I was comfortable with. You’re more capable than you realize at what you can truly accomplish, and it really just takes that one person to plant the seed in your head and help you nourish it. I think it honestly started with my mom, but as the aforementioned said, I’m stubborn and hardheaded. So it just took a minute to get there lol!
   
6. Which brings me to my last point: stepping outside of your comfort zone. This trip has honestly done nothing but make me uncomfortable. As fun as I have been having, a lot of things are challenging for me, and I’ve been somewhat of a guinea pig in trying to figure out things that do and don’t work. There’s been a lot of trial and error, but they help build character and confidence. Although I was initially on the fence about this trip, stepping outside of my comfort bubble has really helped me grow as an individual. If I hadn’t done this trip, I wouldn’t have met some of the helpful people who have supported me on this journey, and I wouldn’t have really learned all that I have about myself.
   
   I don’t want to live my life with any regrets. I want to look back on my twenties and say I truly took advantage of every opportunity that came my way.